


I Love You to the Moon and Back

by esotericcleric



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, not really this is like weak coffee, so i hope y'all like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esotericcleric/pseuds/esotericcleric
Summary: Hajime loved to look at his mark, loved to examine the detailed filagree of ivy climbing up his arm and wonder who it could possibly represent.Then the met Oikawa Tooru, and he didn't have to wonder anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic on AO3 (as you probably saw in the tags) so I wanted to keep it short and sweet. Just in case it isn't clear in the story, marks are representative of how you feel about your soulmate. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! :)

Hajime’s parents weren’t soulmates. They loved each other, sure, but not in the way their marks said they should. His father had a paintbrush dripping watercolors across his thigh, signifying the wonder his soulmate would bring into his life. He’d met her in college, but she had already found someone to love and abandoned him. That wonder had pushed her to break the mold, drawn to another creative spirit like a moth to flame. His mother had never met her soulmate, content to live life the way she wanted to live it. The wings drafted across her back were a tattoo, nothing more. They said they didn’t regret anything.

That didn’t stop him from catching them sometimes, eyes lowered in an obvious state of _what if?_ He knew he could never live like that, always wondering if they had made the right decisions. Wondering if they should have fought harder for their soulmates when they'd had the chance. Before they were chained down with a spouse and a child and a life.

Hajime knew who his soulmate was soon after they had met. The ivy crawling up his arm meant friendship, loyalty, determination, and all of those things meant Oikawa. His best friend, his soulmate, the boy he'd get to spend the rest of his life with. 

And from the moment he saw Oikawa’s mark, he knew that they weren’t meant to be.

A galaxy spanning across his back proudly, laying claim, saying, “This boy is mine and I am his.” Tiny stars and planets littered his skin like freckles, all but glowing in the black void of space. To have a soulmate that meant that much to him, to have someone he loved so wholly was… terrifying. 

It could never be Hajime. 

***

People confessed to him awkwardly. Ivy was a common mark, well documented and well studied. Most people knew who his soulmate was mere seconds after seeing him with Oikawa. That didn’t stop a few, however. 

Some of them were oblivious. They truly believed in the possibility of them being soulmates, the possibility that they could replace his best friend. Hajime was honest. He didn’t lead them on, didn’t give them false hope that they could be together. Sometimes they cried, but mostly they nodded. 

Others were pragmatic. “Look,” they would say with their slimy voices, “we’re not soulmates, but maybe we could have a little fun.” Maybe they had met their soulmates already and deemed them a lost cause. Maybe they had no interest in finding their soulmate. Maybe their soulmate had died. Hajime never asked why they were there, nor did he ever take them up on their offers. 

There were a few who were cruel. “He’s never going to love you back. Everyone’s seen his mark. He needs someone perfect, someone that’s everything. And that will never be you.” Hajime knew this was true, of course. Oikawa would never be his. They were friends. "Ivy's never requited. It's a parasite, leeching off of its host until both of them die. _He's_ a parasite."

He didn't care.

***

Sometimes he was sure Oikawa would find out. That he would notice Hajime was in love with him, and that any day he would be rejected. He didn’t know what would happen to their friendship after that. 

Oikawa would be horrified. He would cast Hajime out like he’d never mattered at all. Their only contact would be in volleyball, where Oikawa would shout his name for a spike and he’d be there because he’d _always_ be wherever Oikawa wanted him no matter how much it hurt. Maybe he would stop spiking to him altogether. The coach would yell at them to work it out, the team would look on uncomfortably. Maybe Hajime would quit, stopping it all. He’d cut off all ties to make Oikawa happy. 

Oikawa would be uncomfortable. The inside jokes, the silent understanding, the easiness between them, all of it would stop. There would be strained smiled instead, the ones he gives all of his fans when they come to watch him play. He wouldn’t call when he was sad anymore. He wouldn’t trust Hajime to stop him from overworking. They would be the same, but infinitely different.

Oikawa would stay the same. He’d keep winking and hugging and pressing their shoulders together on bus rides. He’d keep shouting his name for spike after spike, trusting him to get it through because they always trusted each other. Because it didn’t matter to him that Hajime was in love with him.

He was never sure which future he dreaded the most. 

***

Their final match against Shiratorizawa was when he realized who Oikawa’s soulmate was. He wished he hadn’t, wished he could keep his mouth shut and let things keep going how they were. But walking in on him that night, setting volleyballs helplessly and begging his soulmate to find him, broke him. Oikawa needed to know. 

“I thought you might be here,” he said. He sat a seat away from Oikawa, because after today he’d have to get used to the distance. He went through the motions of their conversation, unable to think about anything but how everything was about to change. He was nervous. He was terrified. Finally, he said it. “What do you think about Ushijima?”

Oikawa didn’t miss a beat. “I hate him.”

“You do talk about him a lot—”

“He’s my mortal enemy, Iwa-chan.”

“—someone could even assume that your world revolves around him.”

“No.” He looked horrified when he realized what Hajime was implying. “No way. _He_ is not _them_.” 

Hajime had expected denial. He forced himself to be sincere. “Why not? You’re obsessed with him. You’ve been complaining about him non-stop for years. And they say there’s a fine line between love and hate—”

“No, no, no! He’s not them! He’s not! I hate him, Iwaizumi! How could you even think—”

“So it’s not even slightly possible? You’re not attracted to him at all?” 

Oikawa blushed. 

_The nail in the coffin,_ Hajime thought sadly. No, not sadly, triumphantly. Oikawa would be happy this way. His soulmate would be happy. That was all he wanted. “See? I know you better than you know yourself.”

“I-so what if I think he’s a little attractive? I think lots of people are a little attractive! That doesn’t make them my soulmate!”

“But it could.”

“I-” Oikawa cut himself off, glancing at the court. Ushijima was spiking, forcefully breaking through block after block. When he spoke he was tentative, as though he didn’t really want to know the answer to his question. “Do you really think it could be him?”

“Yeah, I do.”

***

Oikawa left the match before he did. Hajime sat in his seat for a while, even after all of the other onlookers had gone. He didn’t cry, but did bury his face in his hands and sigh. His phone vibrated.

_We’re going on a date on Friday._  
_Thanks, Iwa-chan! ;)_

He cried.

*** 

Friday night, Oikawa showed up at his house. Hajime had been watching the news on the couch, desperately trying not to think about the date, when Oikawa had come in and sat dramatically on his lap. “I’m not Ushiwaka’s soulmate.”

It took Hajime a minute to respond. Oikawa’s head was buried in his shoulder, his arms wrapped around his neck. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m not his soulmate,” he repeated. 

Hajime felt tears on his shoulder. He sighed and rubbed his back. “You can’t know that.”

“He has a flower on his thigh.”

_And how exactly did you see a mark on his thigh_ —he stopped the thought before it could fester. “So? Flowers are fairly common. They can mean pretty much anything.”

“He’s not mine either. Hajime, the whole date we kept trying to find something we had in common—aside from volleyball. We couldn’t find anything. And now that the season’s over, I don’t think about him anymore. He’s not everything. He’s barely _anything_.

“And I started thinking about everything. Who they could be. And there’s only one person who’s always been there for me. Who’s always been everything even though I was too dumb to realize.”

Hajime stopped rubbing his back. He felt his body flinch against his will, and felt Oikawa’s stiffen in response. “Oikawa, you—”

“Hajime,” he said softly, lifting his head. His eyes were wet, his lips chapped from being bitten. “I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long.”

"You don't love me, Oikawa."

"What?"

He felt his heart shatter at the look on Oikawa's face. "You don't love me."

"Yes, I do. I know you feel the same. I should've looked up what ivy meant _years_ ago but I was so scared and I never knew why-"

"I'm not your everything. You're just upset. You know how you get-"

"I'd never make this up. Not this." He was crying again, big ugly sobs that made him shudder. Hajime wanted to comfort him, but forced himself to stay distant, or at least as distant as he could be with Oikawa on his lap. "Why can't you believe that I'd love you? Am I that terrible?"

"You aren't terrible, Oikawa."

"Then why? Am I-"

"Shut up, you idiot." Oikawa went quiet, his eyes wide and terrified. "I love you, okay? You were right. I've loved you since we were kids. But-"

Before he could finish his thought, Oikawa was kissing him. His soulmate was kissing him. His lips were soft, but not gentle. They pressed hard against his own and their teeth clacked together and it was a terrible first kiss.

It was perfect.

“Do you really love me?” Hajime asked when Oikawa finally pulled back.

“More than anything." He kissed him again. "More than anything."

 

 

***

 

 

They were curled up on the couch together watching a bad alien movie when Oikawa said it.

"I love you to the moon and back, Hajime.”

Oikawa fell to the floor cackling when he was shoved off of the couch. "You just couldn't resist a shitty pun, could you?"

**Author's Note:**

> So leave a comment? Please? ~~Sorry I know it wasn't great but I don't really want to edit so...~~


End file.
